Monday 28 September 2009

Changes - (One Step, Two Steps....)

There have been many changes in my life recently.
MIL has come to stay which has enabled me to get on with more pressing things and the children really love having her to stay (despite having to put up with the dreaded daytime soaps/gameshows and less cbeebies).
I have decided that I want to change nurseries for V, as the one attached to the childrens centre has more structure which is what she needs. She is able to sit and focus on an activity and has less moments of flitting from place to place. My only worry is that this change will affect her behaviour. Next year once we get the statement she should have a 1 to 1, but I do not know if she will be entitled to one now. I will be speaking to the teacher at the nursery tomorrow hopefully. The childrens centre Manager said that it might be the right time for her to move on, it is still attached to the centre, and on the days I have my meetings she will still go there, perhaps 2-3 times a month.
I am on the job hunt, something for 2-3 days a week. S's hours at nursery have increased so I have more time to jobhunt, but it is quite difficult to find challenging part-time work. "I" said that I should not sell myself short by working in the local supermarket! I will not rule anything out...!!!
I have called 3 schools for an appointment and they were all unavailable to commit to a day for us to view. We do not want to view with other parents which I think is fair enough. It seems like this may go into next term.
Also I need to get S's name down for nursery for next year, and this will no doubt end up starting in Jan 2011.
My eye is a problem again and I have got a repeat prescription. The famous knee also went this weekend after extensive walking and everytime I twist it I am in agony. I want putting down....
On Wednesday we (the parents group) are off to all the local parks, to see how the money has been spent and how much they have ignored the needs of disabled children. I am looking forward to it. They have another 20 parks to be redesigned that we hope to have some influence in or else!
I also requested tickets late for a womens empowerment day, so the lady said I can put you on the mailing list for next year, now that is not at all helpful, am I to spend a whole year not being empowered? Ridiculous. Sure they are only fully booked because they have a free buffet anyway! I must add that is not the reason I was going of course...lol
Other small changes, finally separated from the children, they have own room, and so do "I" and I. MIL also has own room, so no unnecessary sharing thank-you very much. Now all we need is the rest of the house to take shape and I will be most happy.
"I" is looking into the option of changing working hours, so that would also help a lot of matters in our lifestyle, and would benefit the kids as well.

S has become terrified of an advert for Grandpa in my pocket - the character Great Aunt Loretta is an occasional visitor, but when he sees her he sobs tries to hurdle the stairgate and shakes for 20 minutes. You cannot pre-empt when the ad comes on, so I quickly turn it off and try and calm him down. His behaviour is becoming difficult, but not sure if that has anything to do with the recent changes at home, and the fact he is 2 next week. I cannot believe that time has gone so quickly. I still remember so clearly when he arrived and how content I felt to have a "normal" baby without anything wrong to be able to hold him without worrying about his every breath, holding his head and knowing everything was fine. Not worrying when he did not drink/pee/pooh! Oh the bliss. I think the joy of parenting was taken away when I had V, there was so much uncertainty about her breathing at birth. When S came along I had moments of real joy knowing this is what I missed dreadfully with V. Such different memories, but the only thing they had in common was that they were both so wanted.

I am trying to organise a school reunion for my dearest old friends from school, we have all taken such different paths and I will enjoy seeing our differences, and how we ever became friends at school.
I am also trying to get away for the weekend for much needed respite from everything. I want to recharge my batteries as they seem pretty low and when they are low I get colds that last the whole autumn/winter.

Monday 7 September 2009

Where there is a will there is a way...

Camping has been and gone it seems a lifetime away.
I was glad of the break and felt surprisingly rested on return. I was even glad to be home despite everything.

It was very nice to meet a lot of people, see their children, hear their stories and above all have a understanding of each others anxieties, joys and worries.
I have learnt a lot also.

The tent was lovely, a sunncamp prism 8 very spacious for us all and quite eye-catching. It really blocked out the light in the bedrooms as well being black.

V loved the relative freedom and S escaped from the tent several times, and twice unnoticed first thing in the morning when "I" was in the shower and I was asleep!!!
Derbyshire was nicer than I was expecting and there is a lot to do, so know that next time will ensure I get to see the other bits I missed. Strangely enough we kept ending up in Nottinghamshire by accident mainly. I really liked Bolsover Castle - The Little Castle, fascinating. Very difficult getting V around it without her screaming and running away. She hates being moved from a to b. Thank God it wasn't a guided tour and we had to go at certain times/ways that would have been a nightmare.

Back to home life and back to nusery.
V was excited to be back today (although I made a mistake and booked her in last Thursday! that won't be funded)
Fridays she is having a Multi-disciplinary Assessment (for Autism), the first one last Friday was full of boys, mostly non-verbal and all you could hear was V chatting at the top of voice for 1 hour solid. It is something she does when nervous, gets louder, starts talking more nonsense and repetitively. Hope she settles down. Glad they saw a negative side of her behaviour as when it was time to go she had a meltdown/tantrum whatever you wish to call it. I was glad this was going to be on record.
I do think she has some real issues with her sensory perceptions. I do feel clueless what to do to help her. Mostly now I ignore them as if I dwell on them too much can make it worse.

The funday at the special needs school went well and all had a good time. I was there helping, so "I" managed the two of them on his own, despite both running in different directions, it was a relatively safe environment. I also invited his old school friend whose daughter also has a learning difficulty so they were both there to grab them when they went too far.

I am hoping September brings better things for me personally. I feel adrift in many areas of my life and want to be back on track. We also have a long stay visitor coming at the end of the month and trying to clear a space for her is proving difficult with the accumulation of this families stuff and a house renovation gone terribly wrong. She is a much wanted visitor, my mother in law who I have really missed having around. I was living with her up until last May for 20 months, so have grown pretty close. Father in law will arrive later in the year, and both will stay no doubt until the new year, but we do not know how long they will be staying for. I just want everything to be right for them, so they can have a stress-free visit.
Also looking at ways to help me get through this all and will hopefully sign up with Flylady. For the past few weeks, each time I have gone to the local shop, I have bagged up some stuff and given it to the charity shop. Flylady has a 27 fling thing boogie (may have got that wrong) pick up 27 things to chuck, and then bag 27 things and give away. That charity shop will now be overwhelmed with my old junk and freecycle as well.

Where there is a will there is a way...